glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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