Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
