hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
