There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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