sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I intend to get homeless drunk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
