I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
