please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want a musical about memes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize