i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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