Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
