I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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