somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need a beard to bite.
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