Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
