I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
