Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
