She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
