READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
