things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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