Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
