What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize