ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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