My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
