she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize