Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
