Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
