Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
