I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
