If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize