Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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