Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
