How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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