This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
