I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
