I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
