Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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