i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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