Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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