All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
