so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
