Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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