I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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