ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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