Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
