I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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