i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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