On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
