tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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