so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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