i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
