hell yes lets make some ravioli
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize