I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
