after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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