kristin has been a bad kristin
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
