Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
