Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
