bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
