A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
