I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
