I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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