Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
