It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
