Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize