If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
