It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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