come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
