Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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