i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i need some magic done to my vagina
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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