And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
