this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize