Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
